Happy New Year! (Day 3 Alcohol Free)

Every New Year, I get enthusiastic and determined about making resolutions - and of course, like almost everyone else, I don't actually keep them. I'm not really surprised anymore, because the truth is, I'm forever trying to make improvements to myself - you know, 'live my best life' - all throughout the year, regardless of the date.

All the usual stuff - I resolve to exercise more regularly, or to eat more veggies, or to finally start meditating. I want to read more books (or at least finish the one I started last month), or find a new hobby that I'll like enough to stick to for longer than a week...

But the truth is, I usually just forget about these things within a few days. The months roll on and I'm busy with work, trying to spend quality time with my boyfriend (we've been together for a year but don't live together yet), and the endless roster of 'catchups' with old friends whose lives long ago darted off in different directions to mine. (I'm in my early 40s and don't have any kids).

Anyway, there's one resolution I never forget about, even when I'm not sticking to it: my resolution to quit drinking alcohol. 

I'm not going to waste time detailing how many times I've quit. Too many to remember, anyway! And I'm certainly not going to wallow in the horror stories of my binge drinking past. I don't think that'll help. I'm really tired of looking back, like I'm living life with my eyes fixed on the rear-vision mirror instead of straight ahead of me.

I've had successful alcohol free stints before, but even when they've stretched out to months at a time, I've wound up drinking again. I'm so bloody dizzy from being on this merry-go-round of drinking, then not drinking, then convincing myself that moderation will work, then accidentally having too much and winding up back at Day 1 all over again.... It's got to change. I know I've said that before but I have to believe that eventually the change will happen and it'll stick. I need to do something different in order to make that change.

So I'm writing this blog to help me through it. If thoughts about drinking or not drinking are always swirling around my consciousness anyway, I reckon that writing them down might actually be what makes the difference. Even if no one else reads this, the accountability to myself has to mean something.

I'm determined to stick to this resolution - for good!

Betty 

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